The two things every person needs

You are at the airport standing in line. And you are next. There are only two windows open and over 150 people in line. One guy has been at the window for what seems to be 10 minutes. His voice escalates.

"I have been waiting in line for over an hour. If you would have opened another window then I could have made it to the gate in time. Its your fault, not mine." (he uses lots of expletives)
"I'm sorry sir, but there is nothing I can do about that now."
"Yes there is. I have to be at a wedding at 6:00. Since the airplane is delayed, let me go up to the gate."
"I can't do that sir. But, I can put you on the next flight."
"You already told me the next flight gets in at 7:00, do the math. Put me on the flight that is sitting at the gate."
"No, I will not sir. Next in line."
"I'm not leaving this line." (he uses lots of expletives)
"Sir, there is nothing I can do for you other than put you on the next flight."

Guards appear and physically remove the man. You are next in line.

Imagine, this woman can either make your life a living hell....or you can win her over in your corner. I walked up to the window, shook my head and said:

"I can tell by the look in your eye you want to marry that guy."

She laughed....and relieved her tension.

Now, think about this situation differently. What could he have done differently? Anything? Absolutely. Now imagine for one instant.......is there anyway possible he would have said:

"Thank you for sharing with me how wrong I AM.

NO.........................NO ONE WOULD EVER SAY THOSE WORDS!!!!!! Has anyone ever said those words to you? NEVER. What does everyone want? To be Right. Every argument is about? Being right.

What does every nightmare situation have to deal with? To be important.

1. Everyone needs to be right
2. Everyone needs to be important.

I love history. If you read it, it actually teaches you something. One of our great founders is also one of our greatest teachers.

As Benjamin Franklin became more famous and brilliant over the years, he became increasingly overbearing in the social circles of Philadelphia. When engaged in discourse at social gatherings, he thought nothing of telling his verbal adversaries how wrong they were about a particular subject. Benjamin was always right. Finally one of his dear friends pulled him aside and said,

"Benjamin, you are becoming a bore. Many of our friends have a difficult time with you at parties. Do you realize you humiliate them?"
"What do you mean?"
"You tell everyone how right you are and how wrong everyone else is."
"Well I am right and everyone else is wrong."
"Benjamin, that may be. However, do you believe that is anyway to maintain friends? Do you think people want to be around someone like that?"

Benjamin withdrew socially for some time. Finally prepared with verbal armor, Benjamin reemerged ready to reclaim his position in Philadelphia society. At the next party, when Benjamin was asked to share his thoughts on a particular subject he said,

"You may be right, I may be wrong, I frequently am, however.......

and the crowd erupted in laughter caught off guard by his disclaimer.


For the rest of Benjamin Franklin's life, he used that line, which disarmed his audience.

So think about the need to be right in your interactions with everyone. If you actively listen and turn off the inner dialogue in your brain, you might actually hear what they are saying. What do I mean by that? Listen for what isn't being said. Turn off the radio in your mind and hear their words. Listen for the words they aren't saying, and you will be surprised by what you hear.


The need to be important.

Have you ever dealt with the nightmare secretary. You know what I mean...she's the gatekeeper. And you hate her....so you treat her like crap right? You figure she's not important.

Wrong. Have you ever been a secretary? I have. It's how I worked my way through college. Nothing makes me angrier than one person treating another as though they were better. I worked as a waitress, a sales clerk, a lifeguard, a cocktail waitress, a grocery bagger & teller. There is nothing more heinous than people treating others disrespectfully or in a condescending manner.

Part of my process in evaluating prospective clients or candidates is to dine out with them. If they treat the waitress poorly, I elect not to do business with them. Understand, my perspective is that success breeds more success, therefore everyone is a peg in the wheel. That's reality. No one is better than the next guy.

However, I work in an industry where there are many that actually believe they are better than others because of the amount of money they make. I chose not to do business with those people. Why? Because they would be a poor reflection of me. And I don't do business with people I don't respect or admire. I learned a long time ago not to dance with the devil.

Often I hear people say,

"Well, I didn't have a choice because I had to keep a roof over my head."

Yes, you do. Every day you make choices. Years ago, after I sold my first company, another business owner took me to lunch to explore my interest in joining him in a new venture. He was going to make porn movies. Now, I'm not judging him, but I found it disgusting. Today, he's one of the rich men in the world. Does is matter? No. Would I make the same decision again? You bet. You chose everyday who you want to be and by how you treat people.

This is how I live my life. It really doesn't matter to me who you are. What your title is, how much money you make. No one is more important than anyone else. So what do you do? Treat the sales clerk at Macy's just as kindly as you would the CEO of Forbes...........and I'm not joking.

I am dead serious. I have had many experiences in my life where that philosophy has come back and paid dividends beyond my expectations. So trust me, it's worth its weight in gold. What people don't realize is how much it hurts them when they don't treat others...irrelevant of their position in society....with the same respect they would accord anyone else.

So be it a homeless person, a teacher, a politician, or an executive......treat everyone exactly the same and you will be shocked at how much your life changes. Everyone...and I mean everyone wants to be important.......so give it to them.

What does it take away from you? Nothing! Absolutely nothing! So get off your high horse and give them what they need....recognition!

Everyone wants to be right and everyone wants to be important.


Copyright 2007 Ev Nucci


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